HOKAY!
Back!
All hopped up on Reese's mini PB & choc eggs and decaf tea!
Had a chill weekend with my parents, we ate lots of good food and saw plenty of high-quality theatre. Hurrah!
Kicked the sinus infection...but now that Spring is sprung we'll be heading into prime allergy season, so I should just make a hip-holster for my Neti Pot and call it a day.
I do feel better though, so there's that.
The bunwah is still acting herself and eating all the grapes + carrots I put in front of her daily, so our paws remain firmly crossed that the tumor is just a bump in the road of life and not a roadblock. Something stupid happened during this process though-- so I left the vet crying a few weeks ago, called a car service to take us home, waited on the corner all a hot mess, and heard a passing car blast Rhianna's "We Found Love" at full volume. This made me cry harder, cuz I found love in a hopeless fuzzy place called TW. Yes, I can be such a f**king teenage version of myself sometimes...sigh.
Now,
sensory stimulation
+ emotion
me being the equivalent of Pavlov's dog (if his dog was a crybaby)
so when I hear that song I get all verklempt. Luckily, between radio, cars going by, and coworkers playing the hottest hits, I only hear that it roughly 17 times a day. My eyes get all misty, then I roll them so hard at myself that the tears go back inside. It's hot.
Long story less long: if the pollen doesn't get me, the pop music will.
So, pardon me, I'm off to fashion a full body SARS-style mask + ear plugs. It too, is hot.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Day 16 - 2012
I'm crankypants.
I have a sinus infection, they didn't have my size in the high tops I wanted at Foot Locker, and I want a drink.
That's all for now, more later.
I have a sinus infection, they didn't have my size in the high tops I wanted at Foot Locker, and I want a drink.
That's all for now, more later.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Day 14 - 2012
Legit feeling better now, I was forcing it a bit last time...
Only 3 more days of "scary drops" for the bunny, and I found the perfect birthday gift for Rick Barry:
I'm the best daughter. Ever.
Also, along with my March Madness List of Happiness, I can now look forward to a trip to Boulder in April and another trip to New Orleans in June. Traveling really does make me the happiest I've ever been...Last year around this time I was focusing on my celebrations leading up to turning 30, and one of the things that I learned in addition to:
- it's good not to live in squalor (thanks IKEA!)
- my wisdom teeth are over-rated
- Jamaica rules
is that the most effective way to stay in love with New York is to give myself the opportunity to miss it.
During an extended period without escape I become a Mega New York A**hole. Case in point-- FL for Christmas was my last trip, I had to walk through Times Square today to get to a meeting and I unabashedly photo-bombed a tourist's snapshot while mumbling "Ya know what's cool about New York? Me." So around this time I know I need to get off the island soon, or else I'm going to start pushing people onto the subway tracks...or clipping them at increasing levels of aggression as they try to push onto my train car before I've had the chance to get off...or follow an offer of "sorry" by shouting "but you're not!" if the sentiment is not returned when our umbrellas collide on a crowded street (of which there are no other kind)...you get the idea.
So I have to go away. To places where I am given time to reflect and regret the absence of
- the hum of the Triboro bridge out my apartment window
- takeout from Crave until 5 AM
- 24 hour public transportation
- everything literally being in walking distance (if I have the time)
- the stores people in other cities can only visit by using a web browser
- being able to go to literally 100s (if not 1000s) of other bars if I act like a d**k in one of them
There's a certain amount of time it takes to relax into this other lifestyle and get to the "missing" though. In Florida for example, it takes some extreme meditational breathing for me to not want to stab an old lady in front of me at Dunkin' Donuts if she can't decide what she wants. I eventually realize that I'm wearing flip flops, and have absolutely no place important to be, plus I should probably not stab granny since by the looks of her these may be her last 2 donuts anyway.
After I deflate my a**holery enough to enjoy myself it's smooth sailing and 100% restorative. I can't believe my bar tabs are so low, everyone is so f**king polite, and I can turn off my phone without twitching.
Inevitably though...this leads to boredom.
As awesome as cheap beer and nice people are, eventually I want to come back to NY, cuz here I can yell "F**K YOU" at the top of my lungs at any given time without raising a single eyebrow...and then go home and pet my bunny.
Only 3 more days of "scary drops" for the bunny, and I found the perfect birthday gift for Rick Barry:
I'm the best daughter. Ever.
Also, along with my March Madness List of Happiness, I can now look forward to a trip to Boulder in April and another trip to New Orleans in June. Traveling really does make me the happiest I've ever been...Last year around this time I was focusing on my celebrations leading up to turning 30, and one of the things that I learned in addition to:
- it's good not to live in squalor (thanks IKEA!)
- my wisdom teeth are over-rated
- Jamaica rules
is that the most effective way to stay in love with New York is to give myself the opportunity to miss it.
During an extended period without escape I become a Mega New York A**hole. Case in point-- FL for Christmas was my last trip, I had to walk through Times Square today to get to a meeting and I unabashedly photo-bombed a tourist's snapshot while mumbling "Ya know what's cool about New York? Me." So around this time I know I need to get off the island soon, or else I'm going to start pushing people onto the subway tracks...or clipping them at increasing levels of aggression as they try to push onto my train car before I've had the chance to get off...or follow an offer of "sorry" by shouting "but you're not!" if the sentiment is not returned when our umbrellas collide on a crowded street (of which there are no other kind)...you get the idea.
So I have to go away. To places where I am given time to reflect and regret the absence of
- the hum of the Triboro bridge out my apartment window
- takeout from Crave until 5 AM
- 24 hour public transportation
- everything literally being in walking distance (if I have the time)
- the stores people in other cities can only visit by using a web browser
- being able to go to literally 100s (if not 1000s) of other bars if I act like a d**k in one of them
There's a certain amount of time it takes to relax into this other lifestyle and get to the "missing" though. In Florida for example, it takes some extreme meditational breathing for me to not want to stab an old lady in front of me at Dunkin' Donuts if she can't decide what she wants. I eventually realize that I'm wearing flip flops, and have absolutely no place important to be, plus I should probably not stab granny since by the looks of her these may be her last 2 donuts anyway.
After I deflate my a**holery enough to enjoy myself it's smooth sailing and 100% restorative. I can't believe my bar tabs are so low, everyone is so f**king polite, and I can turn off my phone without twitching.
Inevitably though...this leads to boredom.
As awesome as cheap beer and nice people are, eventually I want to come back to NY, cuz here I can yell "F**K YOU" at the top of my lungs at any given time without raising a single eyebrow...and then go home and pet my bunny.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Day 11- 2012
I'm pretty over being down. I struggle with letting myself feel depressed because I want to be fun to be around, and sometimes this turns into passive aggression when people don't understand (how could they? it's not like I'm telling them) instead of dealing with it. So I've been trying to allow myself just feel this and ride it out as an alternative, but I've gotten to a point where I want to stop indulging it because the ride is taking too long.
To work on developing a more positive outlook and stop being such a little b**ch, I'm going to list some things that ARE good right now:
- 2 of my friends are getting married next week. I'm excited to be invited to the celebration because they are a couple of the most genuine and kicka** guys I know. I think it's pretty awesome that gay couples are finally able to do this. In a world where some people still hold up values that allow Kim Kardashian's 12 minute marriage to rank as more sacred than their 10+ years relationship, I pride myself on being on the side of sanity. Also, doesn't hurt that their wedding is taking place at one of my favorite new places in the 'hood, Sugar Freak.
- BRUNCH! I actually went there today with a dear friend and got this fatkid orgasm on a plate:
Yeah. There's plenty more of that in my future.
- My parents are visiting next weekend. They're seeing a few Broadway shows and it's my dad's birthday so we're going to Dinosaur BBQ to celebrate while they're in town. Rick, Sue & salt potatoes-- now that's a reason to smile.
- The weekend after that some of my favorite people are coming to town and staying with me. We'll be seeking out Irish music (but I won't be drinking...on St. Patrick's day. Ouch, but oh well.) and getting together with some of my other favorite local people for Italian food and shenanigans. I love all of those things.
- In the coming month I've got tickets to the Head and the Heart and First Aid Kit x 2. Rock'n'roll soothes my soul! Those bands are awesome, go check them out.
- I'm heading to New Orleans in a couple weeks to unwind, relax, eat, sleep in, see live music & performances, hang w/ awesome peeps and generally unplug. Being there always makes me more zen and I haven't been back since October so I'm way overdue. Funny thing is, the more I visit, the more I know what it means to miss New Orleans...
- At the end of the month I'm going with a friend to Philly for the first time. We'll be seeing First Aid Kit and visiting her family, good times.
...and that's just March. So, yeah, I should buck up and be happy. There seems to be a line I've crossed from healthy emotional behavior into hiding in darkness that I want to uncross.
And this helped! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ride this wave and dance around my apartment in my PJs to Kanye & Jay Z cuz I'm feeling like taking it to the moon, then taking it to the staaaaaaaaars.
:)
To work on developing a more positive outlook and stop being such a little b**ch, I'm going to list some things that ARE good right now:
- 2 of my friends are getting married next week. I'm excited to be invited to the celebration because they are a couple of the most genuine and kicka** guys I know. I think it's pretty awesome that gay couples are finally able to do this. In a world where some people still hold up values that allow Kim Kardashian's 12 minute marriage to rank as more sacred than their 10+ years relationship, I pride myself on being on the side of sanity. Also, doesn't hurt that their wedding is taking place at one of my favorite new places in the 'hood, Sugar Freak.
- BRUNCH! I actually went there today with a dear friend and got this fatkid orgasm on a plate:
Yeah. There's plenty more of that in my future.
- My parents are visiting next weekend. They're seeing a few Broadway shows and it's my dad's birthday so we're going to Dinosaur BBQ to celebrate while they're in town. Rick, Sue & salt potatoes-- now that's a reason to smile.
- The weekend after that some of my favorite people are coming to town and staying with me. We'll be seeking out Irish music (but I won't be drinking...on St. Patrick's day. Ouch, but oh well.) and getting together with some of my other favorite local people for Italian food and shenanigans. I love all of those things.
- In the coming month I've got tickets to the Head and the Heart and First Aid Kit x 2. Rock'n'roll soothes my soul! Those bands are awesome, go check them out.
- I'm heading to New Orleans in a couple weeks to unwind, relax, eat, sleep in, see live music & performances, hang w/ awesome peeps and generally unplug. Being there always makes me more zen and I haven't been back since October so I'm way overdue. Funny thing is, the more I visit, the more I know what it means to miss New Orleans...
- At the end of the month I'm going with a friend to Philly for the first time. We'll be seeing First Aid Kit and visiting her family, good times.
...and that's just March. So, yeah, I should buck up and be happy. There seems to be a line I've crossed from healthy emotional behavior into hiding in darkness that I want to uncross.
And this helped! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ride this wave and dance around my apartment in my PJs to Kanye & Jay Z cuz I'm feeling like taking it to the moon, then taking it to the staaaaaaaaars.
:)
Day 10 - 2012
Oddly...maybe normally...I don't miss FB or booze all that much.
Even though I tried to make this social experiment harder, maybe I'm just realizing how much I don't need the things I think I do. I'm kinda f**king up Lent by being so good at it. I'm awesome!
But for realsies, I find myself wanting those things for the ritual feeling associated with them more than actual desire. For example, before getting out of bed in the morning I always check/maintain my email then Instagram then FB. Occasionally in the last week I've tapped that blue square as a matter of habit, but not because I have a burning need to connect.
And typically on Fridays I throw myself headlong into Beer:30 at the office to celebrate making it through the week and relieve some of the pressure that's been building. Tonight, instead of doing that I stayed 'til after 7PM to get some extra work done, which also effectively took some weight off my shoulders. The only time it was hard was when someone poured a beer near me and I could smell it-- it smelled like heaven, hops, mistakes and good times.
Then again, FB & booze are by their very nature very social, and since I've been kinda depressed lately I am not particularly motivated to mingle with other people technologically or otherwise. So maybe I'm not awesome, I'm just hermetic. If everything was kicking a** perhaps I'd want to share and cheers to it all.
Lent, if reflecting is key, I might be doing you right after all.
Even though I tried to make this social experiment harder, maybe I'm just realizing how much I don't need the things I think I do. I'm kinda f**king up Lent by being so good at it. I'm awesome!
But for realsies, I find myself wanting those things for the ritual feeling associated with them more than actual desire. For example, before getting out of bed in the morning I always check/maintain my email then Instagram then FB. Occasionally in the last week I've tapped that blue square as a matter of habit, but not because I have a burning need to connect.
And typically on Fridays I throw myself headlong into Beer:30 at the office to celebrate making it through the week and relieve some of the pressure that's been building. Tonight, instead of doing that I stayed 'til after 7PM to get some extra work done, which also effectively took some weight off my shoulders. The only time it was hard was when someone poured a beer near me and I could smell it-- it smelled like heaven, hops, mistakes and good times.
Then again, FB & booze are by their very nature very social, and since I've been kinda depressed lately I am not particularly motivated to mingle with other people technologically or otherwise. So maybe I'm not awesome, I'm just hermetic. If everything was kicking a** perhaps I'd want to share and cheers to it all.
Lent, if reflecting is key, I might be doing you right after all.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Day 9 - 2012
Day 8 (Leap Day, which was exciting all on its own) I bought a purse and matching wallet.
This is only notable because I've never bought a purse before. I'm more of a "bag" kind of gal, and I've been sporting the same Kid Robot tote for the last year or 2. Ol' Totey is awesome and has reflective piping, which comes in handy because I do so many reckless activities after dark, but I figured it was time to retire/upgrade.
Percy & Wally (I'm named them too, guess who's who!) are shiny in their own right, yet devoid of vinyl toys-- caricatures of, dangling, or otherwise...this may take some getting used to. The brand is not a crazy fancy label or anything but it did cost more than I usually spend on myself. I figure with the no booze I'll break even soon though. I've also been bringing my lunch all week in an attempt to not fall off the "cleanse" wagon onto a plate of onion rings, so there's savings there too. Look, here they are!
Clappity clappity!
After moving into Percy & Wally (found some crazy shizz in the old Wall-E btw, like the business card of the cowboy / middle school teacher that walked me back to my hotel from the Grand Canyon Brewery 2 summers ago and a tiiiiiiny folded paper subway map...REMEMBER MAPS?! THAT WEREN'T ON YOUR PHONE?! I do, now.), I popped in the Netflix that just arrived in the mail: "Can't Hardly Wait." Had to pause partway through so that I could make my bedtime, but just finished it now on Day 9.
That movie's awesomeness totally holds up. I know most of the words, yet I haven't seen it in years, so it was sort of like running into an old friend without missing a beat. CHW came out in 1998, when I was a junior in high-school, and easily joined the rotation with Dazed & Confused, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Better Off Dead and The Breakfast Club. Those movies are all great and I love them in their own right for helping me fumble through my H.S. years, but CHW is special because I relate to it on a different level.
Jack from Hook was all grown up (just like me), there's a NKOTB reference, Seth Green wears Jnco-like pants, and Blink 182 is featured on the soundtrack. AND!!!-- tonight, I spotted a young Jason Segel as one of the stoners. I ask, what's not to love? This is the movie that keeps on giving. Go put it on your queue, I'll wait here....
Feel better now? Me too.
The takeaway of CHW as I interpret it is pretty typical for the genre: keep on keepin' on. No matter what age I am, if I'm carrying a Jansport or a Calvin Klein, it's nice to have the warm fuzzy feeling of getting that message.
AAAAAAAAAND it's bonus-style awesome that Jenna Elfman as a stripper/angel helps bring it home.
I'll leave you with that. You're welcome.
This is only notable because I've never bought a purse before. I'm more of a "bag" kind of gal, and I've been sporting the same Kid Robot tote for the last year or 2. Ol' Totey is awesome and has reflective piping, which comes in handy because I do so many reckless activities after dark, but I figured it was time to retire/upgrade.
Percy & Wally (I'm named them too, guess who's who!) are shiny in their own right, yet devoid of vinyl toys-- caricatures of, dangling, or otherwise...this may take some getting used to. The brand is not a crazy fancy label or anything but it did cost more than I usually spend on myself. I figure with the no booze I'll break even soon though. I've also been bringing my lunch all week in an attempt to not fall off the "cleanse" wagon onto a plate of onion rings, so there's savings there too. Look, here they are!
Clappity clappity!
After moving into Percy & Wally (found some crazy shizz in the old Wall-E btw, like the business card of the cowboy / middle school teacher that walked me back to my hotel from the Grand Canyon Brewery 2 summers ago and a tiiiiiiny folded paper subway map...REMEMBER MAPS?! THAT WEREN'T ON YOUR PHONE?! I do, now.), I popped in the Netflix that just arrived in the mail: "Can't Hardly Wait." Had to pause partway through so that I could make my bedtime, but just finished it now on Day 9.
That movie's awesomeness totally holds up. I know most of the words, yet I haven't seen it in years, so it was sort of like running into an old friend without missing a beat. CHW came out in 1998, when I was a junior in high-school, and easily joined the rotation with Dazed & Confused, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Better Off Dead and The Breakfast Club. Those movies are all great and I love them in their own right for helping me fumble through my H.S. years, but CHW is special because I relate to it on a different level.
Jack from Hook was all grown up (just like me), there's a NKOTB reference, Seth Green wears Jnco-like pants, and Blink 182 is featured on the soundtrack. AND!!!-- tonight, I spotted a young Jason Segel as one of the stoners. I ask, what's not to love? This is the movie that keeps on giving. Go put it on your queue, I'll wait here....
Feel better now? Me too.
The takeaway of CHW as I interpret it is pretty typical for the genre: keep on keepin' on. No matter what age I am, if I'm carrying a Jansport or a Calvin Klein, it's nice to have the warm fuzzy feeling of getting that message.
AAAAAAAAAND it's bonus-style awesome that Jenna Elfman as a stripper/angel helps bring it home.
I'll leave you with that. You're welcome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)