Had dinner tonight with a friend (yes, I still have them in the real world) and we started talking about things people can't live without. We focused especially on those things people were living just fine without before said things' creation. This got me thinking...about FB, obvi to make it relevant to my cause. But also about smart phones w/ email. Or even cell phones. Or email for that matter. Yeah, I went there, let's kick it old school! Remember when you f*cking WROTE letters?! If you don't, just get off my porch right now. I hate you kids these days with your loud Kei$ha music and your baseball caps with the stickers still on (plus you probably won't be able to relate).
Oh alright, fine. Settle in kiddies, let me tell you a story:
Back in the 80s, dinosaurs wrote their letters on actual paper and put them in the actual mail. Then the dinosaurs would play with rocks and sticks and Ataris until the dinosaur they wrote the letter to returned this favor. This went on and on. If the 'saurs wanted to communicate quicker, they picked up an actual phone, which was immobile because it was jacked into an actual wall. It may sound scary but life was groovy. Not only since they couldn't call to say they were running late, but because it was the effing polite thing to do, everysaur showed up places on time. Then they'd spend time together and discuss ALF or hyper color t-shirts, and there would be no calls or texts or tweets to interrupt. It's crazy, I KNOW!! And if one teenasaur started a rumor about another that sh*t would get stopped in it's tracks by a phone call from the victim's momasaur, not be spread willy-nilly via social networks in a matter of nanoseconds. Also, if a 'saur wanted to figure out how to spell "willy-nilly," they had to open up a dictionary, not just a new tab to Google it. Corey Haimasaur was still alive, and things were awesome.
Flash forward-->The USPS is about to cut Saturday mail service, which will totally eff up my g'ma's weekend routine (remember my g'ma?). Also people are not only late all the time, but when they do show up chances are they'll look at their smart phones more than at you, even though you're smart too. Adaptation to technology has caused us to evolve, what we live for and can't without now has changed.
RIP old school livin', and Corey Haim. Sadly, it seems neither will make a comeback.
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